Friday, May 13, 2011

Listening 1-5

Theme
The stressful journey to a destination can lead to unforeseen stress at your destination.

Premise
Lillian, a 23 year old aspiring actress, is on her way to an audition. She is using google maps to arrive to her destination in Hollywood. She has an audition for a role on a TV show. She is unaware that one of her ‘model’ frenemies is also headed to the same audition. Lillian and Adrianna were once best friends, but once they started competing for the same roles they both grew to despise the other. They hadn’t seen or spoken the each other for five years,

Program
The unwritten rules of driving. How one acts when reading directions while driving. How one acts while driving when frustrated. How one acts when having missed a turn on directions. The rules of driving on the street and freeway. The rules of seeing someone you hate and pretending you don’t want to rip their head off.

Treatment
The story starts with Lillian sitting at her home computer. She types in the address of her destination. Lillian clicks on get directions, then she types in her homes address into the “A” line and presses enter. The directions come up. Two hours and zero minutes. Lillian presses the print button. Lillian takes the directions and runs to her car, if she hits traffic she will become late. Lillian gets onto the freeway safely without having to look at the directions. Twenty miles into her journeys she’s strolling on the freeway, she see’s flashing red and blue lights and proceeds to pull over. Lillian has a short conversation with the cop as he tells her he’s writing her a fix-it ticket for the window tinting on her vehicle. Lillian is upset but refuses to let it get her down. She needs to focus on doing well at her audition. She shoves the ticket in her middle console angrily and pulls back onto the freeway. Eighty more miles to go. When Lillian has fifty miles left her phone rings. It’s her boyfriend, Caleb. Lillian and Caleb talk about the audition she is driving to. Caleb tells Lillian to be careful while driving in Hollywood because he knows how she is with driving and looking at directions simultaneously. She tells him not to worry and they hang up the phone. Lillian then reaches to her directions laying in the passenger seat. She glances down at them to see what exit she has to look for and when she glances up she see’s the car in front of her much closer with it’s break lights on. Lillian slams on the breaks just in time for the car in front of her to speed up. She exits onto the 101 freeway and continues to try and find her exit.
(In a different part of a different city an hour and a half later.) Adriana enters the address of her destination onto her iphone. Thirty-six minutes. She starts up her car and drives to her destination. The song playing on the radio is “Alien” by Katy Perry. (In a split screen Adriana is shown driving at the same time that Lillian is driving.) Adriana is shown glancing at the directions on her phone while sitting straight up to make it look as it she is not looking at her phone.
Lillian finds her exit and scans through the radio channels. She stops at “Alien” by Katy Perry. Lillian exits the freeway and continues onto the busy, bumpy streets of Hollywood. While looking at her directions she suddenly realizes she is in a right turn lane only. The street is too busy for her to switch lanes so she decides she will just turn around after she’s been forced to make the right turn.
Adriana misses a turn because she was unsure if the GPS dot was correct on her phone.
Lillian finally finds a light where she can make a u-turn. Lillian makes the turn back onto the street she had accidentally turned off of. She feels relieved that she is finally close to her destination.
Adriana turns around.
Lillian finds the building and pulls in to the parking lot. Somehow she has made it just in time. She exits her car and walks towards the building to the doors and enters.
Adriana pulls into the parking lot and turns off her car. She sits in her car for a minute to reapply makeup in the mirror.
Lillian speaks with the receptionist and is told to go find a seat next to the other three girls that have already arrived.
Adriana locks her car, enters the building and speaks to the receptionist.
Lillian hears a familiar voice but does not look up from the text message she is reading on her phone.
Adriana enters the room with her head held high and sits down. Her phone rings and she reaches to see who it is.
Lillian looks up just in time for Adriana to look at her and they catch eyes. Adriana gives Lillian a stuck up I’m-better-than-you smirk.
Lillian replies nonverbally with an eye roll.


Composites
1.) Lillian shuts her phone and concentrates on driving. She realizes she has forgotten what exit she will be looking for she takes her left hand off the steering wheel and reaches for the set of directions sitting on the passenger seat. She quickly turns her head to get a visual on where they are and grabs them. Lillian holds them up close to the steering wheel. She takes her eyes off of the road for a moment to find the next step in her directions. She glances back to the road to see that the car in front of her is much close than it was before and has its break lights on. Lillian slams on the breaks and her body fills with adrenaline.
2.)Lillian smiles and tells the receptionist, “I’m here to audition for a role on Gossip Girl.” The receptionist chews on her gum and responds by telling her to go to room 6 and take a seat with all the other girls. Lillian nods her head, thanks the receptionist and continues to room 6 where the receptionist had pointed. Lillian sits down, reminds herself to sit up straight, crosses her ankles and pulls out her cell phone to find a text message from Caleb saying “Good Luck”. She smiles and hears a familiar ring tone. She glances up only to see Adriana. Adriana catches Lillian’s glance and smirks as she thinks to herself, “She has no chance”. Lillian returns the smirk but rolls her eyes to say, “hi to you to, bitch”.

3 comments:

  1. The treatment showed a good outline of how the GPS could be used as an experimental form of scripting. To create more tension in the script, add a lot more conflict. Really show how Lilian's journey is hindered as opposed to Adriana's. As I was reading the story I wasn't sure that Lllian and Adriana were in conflict until their encounter in the end. I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be the surprise in the end. But perhaps when Lilian is talking to her boyfriend they can establish that Adriana is competition. And/or Lilian could have lost the address and calls the office. After asking for the address she asks if Adriana has come in for an audition yet.

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  2. I like where you start off with your story, premise and theme. Driving is defiantly stressful and I have used driving as the starting point of many of my ideas. The conversation with the boyfriend could be a great tool to establish a back story, as Emilyn said. However I feel as though there is something lacking. From your treatment I feel like I have only heard the first third of the story, and that more should be come after this. Is the interaction with the Cop supposed to be the Inciting Incident?
    I would personally try to introduce Adriana as a source of conflict earlier in the story. Perhaps instead of the cop pulling her over for a fix it ticket, Lillian gets pulled over for texting/checking her phone while driving because she not only is looking for direction but gets a text from Twitter that Adriana is going to an audition for the same role, or perhaps Adriana texts her herself. Then the cop pulling her over would be the last straw. Afterwards talking to her boyfriend on the phone (hopefully with a headset) she can discuss the importance of Adriana as competition.
    Great start and good luck!
    -Emma Robertson

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  3. I really like this idea of being able to track a journey using the form u chose, i do recall however you mentioning food i believe? i was thinking that it might add an interesting element to the story if you could incorporate that..maybe using the receipts i believe you also mentioned as a time marker as well

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